#185: What It Really Means To Disconnect



If you’ve not heard our previous three episodes (#179#181 and #183) in this series on transition, I’d encourage you to give them a listen.

So far in our sessions, we’ve covered the fact change is inevitable. Transition is an absolute in our life, but how we deal with it varies tremendously. In order to experience a meaningful – and successful – transition, there are four stages each person needs to walk through. We’ve uncovered the first stage of Discontent, and today, we’re talking about stage two: Disconnect.

The Gist:

There is a stark reality of being emotionally tethered to unhealthy relationships, careers, or environments. We are connecting, collaborative people! It’s natural and normal to become engaged with people, ideas, and contexts with which we carry out our daily lives. However, if you’re  being pulled in a new direction and if the state you’re presently in is no longer satisfying, a healthy crisis is about to ensue.

That said, you’ll be faced with the oftentimes challenging task of letting go, leaving behind, or DISCONNECTING from those things.

Merriam Webster’s dictionary defines disconnect as follows: To separate something from something else; to break a connection between two or more things. To sever the connection of or between. To terminate a connection. To become detached from or to withdraw. 

Things You May Have To Disconnect From:

  • Relationships
  • Roles/Titles/Sense of Identity
  • Affiliations
  • People-pleasing (a must!)

7 Things To Know About The Process of Disconnecting:

  1. What was excellent on the previous level is mediocre (at best) on the new level.
  2. Not every relationship will follow you through transition.
  3. Most people need you to be the same person they’ve always known you to be.
  4. Your worth and value are not deteremined by the role or title you fill.
  5. Disconnecting does not require you to deny the blessings, benefits, or value from your previous season of life.
  6. Give yourself permission to grieve.
  7. If you refuse to disconnect from what’s anchoring you to your past, you’ll be stuck in discontent.

Closing Thoughts:

  • Are you faced with the opportunity to disconnect from someone? Something?
  • Disconnect is no easy feat, but it is entirely necessary.
  • Wherever you are in this process, be encouraged!
  • You will find the strength and courage to get through on the other side.
  • Next week – Reconaissance.

Next Steps:

1. Subscribe to our weekly email update on brianholmes.com
Continue this conversation on Facebook! Do you recognize anything you  need to disconnect from?


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Until next time, remember … You were made in His image, designed for a purpose, and are destined for greatness. The world is waiting for the REAL YOU to show up.  God Bless!